The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell , a Hell of Heaven. John Milton
It’s easy to believe that the people, places and things in our life determine whether we feel like we’re living in Heaven or Hell. The truth is how you think about yourself, your world and others has a much larger impact on your happiness than life’s circumstances.
That’s great news, because while you can’t always change your circumstances you can change your mind and doing so will transform your life. As Wayne Dyer explains:
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
So as we start a new year, set an intention to focus on fine tuning your mind. Here are 5 proven happiness strategies to get you started.
- Notice your thoughts
When negative thoughts and worries appear replace them with ideas and wishes of things that you want to create in your life. It takes practice and patience, but over time you can cultivate the habit of positive thinking.
- Express gratitude
Rather than taking things for granted count your blessings. Thank the people who help you — write an e-mail, give your mentor a call or say thanks to the sales person who provided great customer service. Appreciate and savor the delicious moments of your life by taking a moment to fully drinking them in when they occur. Start a gratitude journal and write down what’s going well and all that’s good and wonderful in your life. For more ways to cultivate gratitude click HERE.
- Cultivate optimism
Look on the bright side, find that silver lining, notice what’s right in your life rather than wrong. Celebrate the past, enjoy the present and anticipate a bright future. To ramp this one up start an optimism journal where you write about your best possible future. Include all the details — where and how you want to live, your dream career, vibrant health, fabulous relationship…
- Stop worrying and overthinking
When you find yourself ruminating, literally chewing an idea over and over again in your mind, stop. Distract yourself with a pleasant activity, call a friend or spend 5 minutes writing down your worries and then let them go. Remind yourself you are safe, and that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.
While that voice of lack and attack may sound convincing know that the sky is not falling. The doom and gloom tape that you hear is a small, conditioned voice inside of you that got stuck in a lie and wants to protect you. Offer self-compassion to the lost piece of you that only knows fear and keeps you small.
- Avoid social comparison
Nothing steals joy and happiness like comparing yourself to others. Rather than looking at how much smarter, wealthier, more attractive… others are enjoy and appreciate yourself. In the entire universe there is no one quite like you. The world needs your authenticity and special skills and talents.
Which of these strategies will you commit to today? Please let me know by sharing in the comments box below.
Known as The Midlife Whisperer™ Dr. Ellen is a Psychologist, Registered Dietitian, Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, Mindful Self-compassion Teacher, and author.
This blog is incredibly accurate and motivating in so many ways. Thank you for encouraging cultivating a positive mind to set in motion a positive life!
You’re welcome, Megan. Glad it helped you and thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the article. I love that Wayne Dyer quote. All of the tips are things I “want” to do. I will work on number 3 by writing about my optimistic future.
You are very welcome, Leslie. Thank you for commenting.
A lot of this I already know but I need the constant reminders and encouragement. I worry a lot and I combat that with gratitude for the seemingly smallest things in life that a lot of us don’t take the time to notice such as the beauty and peace I have cultured on my tiny patio with beautiful plants that attract the most interesting and beautiful insects 🐞 or my bird feeders which draw in so many beautiful birds. I am so grateful for the little corner of nature I can relax in and all it’s wonderous glory. I have tons that I am thankful for in my life and I don’t need monetary riches to be so. I might not have all that I want but I sure have all that I need and for that I am also very grateful.
Thank you for posting this, Dr. Ellen, it is a fantastic path to happiness! ❤️
You are very welcome, Emmie and thank you for sharing your experience. What a beautiful way to find peace and happiness.
I’ve mastered worrying and overthinking although I’m working towards changing this habit. The love your acronym FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real). I’m adding this to my daily mantras. With gratitude, Catherine
Good for you, Catherine. Thank you for sharing. Stay positive and let fear go.