“When Akiba was on his deathbed, he bemoaned to his rabbi that he felt he was a failure. His rabbi moved closer and asked why, and Akiba confessed that he had not lived a life like Moses. The poor man began to cry, admitting that he feared God’s judgment. At this, his rabbi leaned into his ear and whispered gently, God will not judge Akiba for not being Moses. God will judge Akiba for not being Akiba. ” – The Talmud
Each of us is born with one duty – to be who we truly are. Yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to and trying to be like others. We bend ourselves into pretzels to people please hoping to feel loved and accepted.
Unfortunately, our society encourages this type of behavior, which is a shame because each of us is unique, and that uniqueness is longing to be expressed and shared with the world. Plus, not being yourself creates stress and erodes confidence. Most living things accept and express their uniqueness. A tree doesn’t long to be a cat, and a cat doesn’t long to be a flower, yet we humans are constantly striving to be other than we are.
It’s easy to get stuck in a place where we’re miserable and to adapt to that. We absorb the habits and feelings into our psyche until we can’t remember who or where we are. We call it home because we’ve settled in. —Melody Beattie
Midlife is a powerful time to shed the masks, misery and layers of shellac accumulated to please others and appear acceptable. There’s a subtle internal shift in energy, a desire to discover who you truly are and share that treasure with the world. As you allow yourself to be guided and start to step into your brilliance, you realize that loving and accepting yourself and acting from a place of authenticity are key for success and creating a life you love.
When you trust yourself and feel at home in your skin you claim your dignity and integrity and boost self-confidence. You ignite your spirit, feel safe and are in a position of power and strength. Plus, when you consciously connect with your authenticity you command the world to reflect back to you what is in your highest good. You make smart choices and investments and abundance and prosperity flow naturally to you.
Ready to express your uniqueness? Follow these 8 steps to amp up your authenticity starting right now.
- Take an inventory
Sit down with your journal and write down all the things that make you special and unique. Not sure what makes you, you? Ask a friend what makes you special and drink it in.
- Love & accept yourself & your life exactly as it is
It’s fine if you want things to be different in the future, but powerful change starts when you accept yourself and how things are NOW. When you receive with open arms what’s happening to you (rather than fighting, trying to control or resisting it) you create a positive mindset that allows life to flow smoothly and peacefully.
- Present your true self to the world
Authenticity is at the heart of success. Understanding and accepting who you are (the good traits and the bad) will attract people who embrace you and opportunities that will move you forward on your JOurneY.
- Notice when you start to feel inauthentic
Are you saying yes when you mean no? Are you focusing on pleasing others instead of pleasing yourself? Check in with your feelings. Are you relaxed and confident or worried and nervous? When you’re being your true self you feel happy and at ease and can focus on the mission at hand without being concerned about what others think.
- Don’t take anything personally
This is a powerful practice from Don Miguel Ruiz’s marvelous book, The Four Agreements. As you become more authentic you will discover that the cost of being yourself is not being able to meet everyone’s expectations.
Trust that the Divine flow of your life is manifesting perfectly for you.
- Give thanks
Give thanks for everything you have and everything you are and watch your blessings multiply.
As Scott Miller explains, “Authenticity is not about being an open book, revealing every detail of yourself without rhyme or reason. It is simply the act of openly and courageously seeing what needs to be seen, saying what needs to be said, doing what needs to be done, and becoming that which you are intent on being.”
How would you life be different if you approached your career, choices and relationships with honesty, integrity and genuineness? Who would you be and what would you do? What are some ways you can be more true to yourself?
Let today be the day you dedicate yourself to building a life that solidly sits on a foundation of authenticity and truth.
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Thank you. Painfully helpful.
Glad the blog was helpful. Wishing you ease as you explore authenticity.
Thank for sharing these steps in reaching our authentic self. It is hard to put aside years of self doubt and think about about what I want out of life. It is time to move forward and let go and be who I am to be. I am working on your 8 steps and look forward to more insight in to becoming authentic
Hi Renee, you are very welcome. I’m glad you’ve made the decision to move forward and be authentic. Let me know how it goes. Thanks for sharing, Dr. Ellen