One of the quickest ways to shift to a positive, confident state is to stop ruminating. While we often think obsessively worrying about and fixating on problems will help us feel better, ruminating about the future leads to anxiety and ruminating about the past leads to depression.
To get unstuck from the black mind goo that’s wearing you out make a decision to stop ruminating. When you’re upset about your husband, your grumpy boss, the kids, your house or a looming deadline, make a choice to let go of your problems. Here are a three ways to do it:
- Write your problems away
Open up your journal and write down your thoughts and feelings about the situation. Writing will help you feel better and provide clarity about the issue so you can take solid steps to resolve it and avoid similar situations in the future.
- Practice Self-compassion
When you notice you’re ruminating, set an intention to be kind to yourself, rather than self-critical. Ask yourself: What do I need right now to feel warm and secure or how can I calm and comfort myself? Then give yourself what you need.
- Be mindful.
Become aware of your uncomfortable thoughts and just watch them come and go. Imagine they are dark clouds drifting across the sky. Remember, no mater how black things appear the sun is always shining.
A lot of the pain that we are dealing with are really only thoughts.