How’s your midlife self-care? Are you prioritizing you and choosing wellness over work even though you’re busy? Do you put yourself first on your to-do list? Have you created a me-time plan: a daily and weekly schedule of midlife self-care strategies, rituals, and habits that fuel your high vibe midlife?

If you answered no, your tank is empty, and you barely know what prioritizing wellness means (it’s a moving target at midlife), no worries. You’re not alone. Practicing self-care is challenging for most busy midlife women. However, you can fill your tank and avoid the dreaded midlife crisis by intentionally taking steps to nurture your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual wellbeing. Here are some suggestions to build your self-care practice.

Set a self-care intention

Start by setting an intention to prioritize your beautiful self. Let go of the guilt that can pop up when you put yourself first. Replace guilt with permission to enjoy activities that replenish your energy, reduce stress, and promote balance and happiness.

Build prioritizing yourself awareness

Become aware of your need for self-care. Pay attention to your emotions, stress levels, and overall wellbeing. Tune into your body and mind to identify and address signs of burnout or exhaustion. Ask yourself: where am I overextended, what can I delegate and take off my to-do-list, where can I say no? Make a list of the people who light you up that you can lean on for support.

Be mindful of your need for self-care

I know, time constraints, multitasking, and pressure to be productive 24/7 make mindfulness tough. However, mindfulness – being present while acknowledging how you’re feeling – helps you to become more attuned to your needs and calmly, rather than frantically, respond to challenges.

Here’s a simple mindfulness midlife wellness hack: Set a timer on your phone or computer every hour to remind you to pause and check in with your emotions, stress level, and overall wellbeing. Tuning into your body and mind regularly is a self-care practice that can help you identify when you’re feeling exhausted and avoid burnout.

Forget the O2 mask metaphor

Ditch the “put your own oxygen mask on first” mentality, which is an approach I learned from the amazing Elizabeth Sherman. This ubiquitous, BS mantra is toxic because it fuels your people pleaser the part of you that prioritizes everyone and everything else over yourself. Not only is people pleasing exhausting the strategy backfires because we’re each responsible for our own happiness. This doesn’t mean you ignore the needs of others, just don’t make self-care about caregiving.

Listen to your inner Buddha:

You as much as anyone else in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.


(Notice, the buddha didn’t say so you can care for others.) Just put your own oxygen mask on and breath.

The four self-care pillars

Awareness, mindfulness, and self-love are your self-prioritization foundation. Once you have these three key components in mind you can build your self-care castle using these four self-care pillars:

1. Revitalize your midlife energy

You do this by creating a tool kit of self-care practices. When you notice that you’re running on empty rather than grabbing a Snickers and a double espresso and plowing forward, you open-up your tool kit and select a strategy to replenish yourself.

As you fill your tank, you’ll discover that not only do you feel happier and healthier you also reach your Ideal Performance State (IPS) even when under stress and pressure. More in my next blog post where I’ll share my top 10 Self-Care Practices for Executive Women in Midlife.

2. Use self-care to achieve ageless wellness

When it comes to self-care, one of the biggest mistakes I see midlife women make is focusing on illness, weight loss, and anti-aging. According to the Law of Attraction what you focus on, think about, read about, and talk about you attract. Focus your self-care practices on illness, weight, and anti-aging and you’ll manifest dis-ease, weight, and aging.

Make ageless wellness – a holistic approach to health and wellbeing- the focus of your self-care practice. It goes beyond just treating illness and instead emphasizes preventive measures, healthy lifestyle choices and a pro-aging attitude. The approach will create a framework that inspires you and promotes vitality, longevity, and quality of life at any age.

Bonus: by making ageless wellness the focus of your self-care practice you’ll enhance your midlife confidence. Instead of looking in the mirror and wishing you were younger, you’ll marvel at how marvelous you look and feel.

3. Find balance at midlife

As I mentioned, midlife self-care is a moving target because so much is changing within us (thank you menopause) and outside of us. This makes finding balance challenging, yet essential.

Increased responsibilities, career and financial pressure, changing priorities, personal transitions, and societal expectations can knock you off balance and generate overwhelm rather than peace. For executive women with a packed to do-list and smartphone, it can feel like the work never ends. You need effective self-care techniques for managing work and life in midlife that can help you switch off your brain, relax your body, and find balance.

4. Empower your midlife

What happens when you prioritize you and self-care? You become an empowered midlife rockstar! You move from a helpless human doing to an in charge human being. From stuck and unhappy to free and energized. You come the authentic heroine of your own journey. And self-care, it’s your chariot and catalyst for personal growth.

Need help creating your self-care tool kit? Sign up for my free Midlife Self-care Workshop HERE.

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