12391129_1543582735965565_1646478462977210932_nWe all want more peace, love and joy especially this time of year. And you can have those feelings not just during the holidays, but 365 days a year because well-being is your birthright.

As super coach Michael Neill explains:

“Well-being is not the fruit of something you do; it is the essence of who you are. There is nothing you need to change, do, be, or have in order to be happy.”

What a relief! You can be happy and peaceful even if your mother-in-law is staying for the week, you’re feeling anxious about finances and world affairs or your daughter is home from college and driving herself and everyone else CRAZY!

We often look for happiness outside of ourselves when it’s planted right in our hearts. Instead of enjoying the gem of well-being we’re born with we splatter it with mud by trying to make ourselves feel good through consuming, doing or attaining. Then we shellac the mud with paint by working on our self-esteem. Sure we may feel better temporarily, but then the paint chips, and we have to keep working to feel good. The world reinforces the drive to do by promising us that by obtaining the perfect house, car, body, hairdo… we’ll magically look and feel amazing.

Instead of peace, happiness and joy we feel stressed and exhausted from all that effort. We’re so spent working on our exteriors that we forget happiness is an inside job. There’s nothing we need to do, change, be or have to obtain well-being. It’s the essence of who we are.

As Joni Mitchell put it:

We are stardust
We are golden
And we’ve got to get ourselves
Back to the garden

Here are 5 tips to help you get back to the garden:

  1. Stop forcing happiness

Trying hard to be happy by doing more and more is like shaking a container filled with water and dirt and expecting it to clear up. The harder we work the further we get from happiness. Stop fighting life. Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

Slow down, wait, relax, breath. Allow the dust of your life to settle. Accept things (including yourself) as they are rather then forcing them to be different and life will flow with grace, beauty and ease.

  1. Observe a human or fur baby

images-4Pets and babies are naturally blissful and at ease. Most of the time they have no fears or worries. All is well because they trust that they will be loved and cared for. My dog, Sizzle often rests belly up, completely vulnerable and exposed inviting someone to rub her tummy so that she can feel even better. Spend time with and learn from your babies. They energy will rub off on you and you’ll feel better.

If you don’t have a baby in your life, baby and nurture yourself. Treat yourself the way you would a good friend and you’ll generate joy.

  1. Choose which thoughts to hold on to

There’s an endless supply of self-help books and programs promoting positive thinking. While staying positive is good advice it doesn’t stop negative thoughts from forming. Yes, accentuate the positive, but let go of the negative. When a troubling thought pops up choose not to dwell on it. This takes practice and patience, but it’s a choice you can make. Your happiness is at stake.

  1. Do what’s important to you

Rather than constantly working on trying to feel better about yourself, work on projects that you’re passionate about and towards goals that have meaning for you. Honor your genius. Find the one thing you love doing and would do all day if you could and just do it. Want to finish a book? Write. Need to increase your sales? Work on selling instead of self-esteem. Looking to be in a fabulous relationship, generate love in your life by loving yourself.

If you don’t have a baby in your life, baby and nurture yourself. Treat yourself the way you would a good friend and you’ll generate joy.

  1. Show up for your life

Mindfulness—focusing on the present moment—is one of the keys to happiness. Research shows it can make you happier.  And you can do it wherever you are. To increase mindfulness choose one or two activities that you do often such as washing dishes, walking, brushing your teeth or driving your car and give it your complete attention. Set an alarm on your computer, watch or phone every hour to remind you to take a break, take a breath and become fully present. Or take 5-10 minutes out of your day to sit in the here and now and must be present.

images-5You can be happy.

“The power is in you. The answer is in you. And you are the answer to all your searches: You are the goal. You are the answer. It’s never outside.” —Eckhart Tolle  

Need help being happier and more joyful. Let’s talk. Book your Rock 2020 session HERE.

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